so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
