oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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