Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
