K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize