he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
