woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
