He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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