last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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