he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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