Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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