I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
