Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
A+ Viking dick
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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