sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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