ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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