my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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