it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
