i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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