one two three fourrrrnication!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
