i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize