i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
