Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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