god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
