just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize