just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
