Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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