have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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