I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
