im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
