if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
time to smoke my breakfast
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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