You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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