How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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