my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
