Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just pee around me
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
