i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
