I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
