At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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