I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
