i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
you never un-have a 4some
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
