My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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