dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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