threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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