Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
