Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
How's work?
Spinning.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Randomize
