Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
