at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
