no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
