i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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