so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
