well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
