hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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