Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
