Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
what day is it and did you see me today?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
