If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Randomize
