I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
