It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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