At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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