You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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