Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
