no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
