Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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