Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just google imaged poop.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
