i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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