You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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