his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
