arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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