Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
im holly from the hills drunk
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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